Written by Temitope on April 10, 2018
Have you ever been to that point where you cannot go any further down? Where you have truly come to the end of yourself? That point where you have reached a brick wall and there is no way to go. At this point, you wish everything would just go away and simply end. You throw yourself on the ground wishing there would be a well placed knife that would on its own accord drill through your fragile flesh, and gently and peacefully, it will all come to an end. Before you appears a screen featuring your life in bits, best put, in pieces. Nothing seems to make sense about your life. It seems like a complicated puzzle with no meaning. There is no need trying any more. It’s over.
Lol… I have been at this point, only God knows how many times. I truly wonder what keeps me going in this midst of these. I know a Spiritual force is at work here too, but I truly cannot fully explain how I eventually pick myself up and try again.
This is what I refer to as the broken state. Well, not because our physical state (body) is broken but our life is, in tiny bits that seem impossible to be put together. Every piece caused by a mistake you regrettably made. And it seems to be that mistake that breaks the camel’s back. Well, I don’t know too much about this idiom and I wonder why it is a camel’s back that is always broken. (I do hope to get an answer soon)
I also wonder if the broken back means the end of the camel’s life. To the best of my knowledge, I do not think so. It might get tougher but it never ends until you end it.
Just in case you are in this same state right now, you can still pick up your pieces and fix it. I can tell you that because I have been there; right to the point of suicide. Was I scared? Very!!! Would I still have gone through with it? I would have done worse. Death is not the worst thing that can happen. Suicide is not the worst thing you can do to yourself. Living without reason or purpose is the worst that can happen to any man.
Just in case you are really scared, rest on the unfailing love of Christ. Yeah… the love of Christ. That unending, undeserved sincere love. Boundless in length, deep in depth, immeasurable.
Lol… too much to be real? Well, you are right. It is too much to be real but it is real.
So pick up yourself, you can start all over. Nothing is impossible. Impossibility is just a mirage within the confines of human limitations. For with God, all things are possible. Even in your struggles, He is always there, willing and ready to help you fix your life together.